When Loving Him is Hurting You by David Hawkins

Author:David Hawkins
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9780736969826
Publisher: Harvest House Publishers

1. Validate their experience. This doesn’t take a lot of work. All we have to do is listen carefully and validate what we hear.

2. Ask some gently probing questions. Care enough to learn more. Encourage her to tell her story.

3. Take her experience to heart. Allow her story to impact you. Don’t dismiss it or blame her for anything. Simply allow her to tell her story.

4. Empathize with her. If you listen carefully enough, you will understand and be moved by her story. You can empathize with her story because we all have been hurt, betrayed, and wounded at some time in our lives.

5. Support her. Ask her how you can help. Get a little dirty in the process.

Protecting the victim, offering support and aid, is not optional. Remember that doing nothing may seem innocent, but it enables the abuse to continue. We cannot stand by and allow victims to suffer.

“Whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me” (Matthew 25:40).

The Path Forward

Narcissistic and emotional abuse is horrible, and it’s made much worse when you are alone. Abuse is worsened when those you believed would support you don’t. It is made worse by those who refuse to acknowledge it.

We can all make a difference. Let’s get our faith and hands a little dirty by refusing to become triangulated, refusing to scapegoat the victim, and choosing to acknowledge abuse when it occurs in our world.

If you are being secondarily abused, have the courage to choose healthy friends who will come alongside you, support you, and protect you. Challenge your friends and family to have courage and take a stand.

Let’s now move forward and learn what we can do when even the church is abusive.

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